“See we made a good time tonight…home by 8:30.”
Good time. Man code for speedy. Quick. Many errands run at breakneck speed as if by finishing early we break some unseen tape at some unseen finish line. My head spins and my senses are all wonky like I’ve stepped from a dark room with shades drawn and lights off into a bright sunshiny day.
It’s been six days of snow and ice.
Six days since we rushed to the store to stock up on food for the kids and caffeine for the parents.
Six days of no school and limited services and the trash man can’t come cause the roads are too slick.
Six days of not making “good time.”
Six days of slow.
I always look out over the snow and think how beautiful and clean and quiet it all is, but this year…this year reminded me of how slow it makes us.
The hazardous roads make running to the store a decision pondered and taken seriously. Offers to leave the house are scrutinized and weighed and every step is watched and cautious.
Life becomes INTENTIONAL.
Every step, every move, every venture out the front door is mulled over, carefully considered, and made with specific purpose. Our thoughts, actions and activities are distilled to only the very important.
It was frustratingly beautiful.
I didn’t truly notice it until the white roads faded to black grippy asphalt and the cars began to zoom by again. Until we took the on-ramp to the highway at prescribed speed and it felt like we were FLYING. Until I realized that we had just spent the evening running around, flitting from house to house, dropping this off there, picking a child up here and zooming two towns over to pick a child up there and then back home to shower and get in bed to rise early and start a normal day with school and work and two cars rushing and ballet practice and recitals and “can you pick me up early mom so we can get there faster.”
My breath is stolen away by the pace of it all. I find myself secretly yearning for a little patch of ice to come and close us in again when just a day ago I was lamenting the days of slow.
When will I learn that I should measure my steps even when the ground is not slippery and uneven?
How do we find the slow without the snow?