My Top Five Picks: Get-to-Know-You Activities

Most often when I am asked for help in planning events for women’s ministries (did you know that I did that? See the “Contact Us: Pick My Brain” tab for more information), I am asked for ideas for icebreakers or games that help us get-to know each other.  I actually divide these into two categories because I think icebreakersare really games or activities that loosen us up and help get conversations started and what I call “get-to-know-yous” are activities that help me learn more about you and, in some cases, take the conversation deeper….it is in these activities that team-building begins to take place.

So I’ve shared with you my top five icebreakers and mixers, but I thought I might share with you some of these deeper activities. Some of these came from my own mind, others came from ideas from pinterest, and a couple of these came from a great resource by Group.com called Icebreakers Galore. I’d love for you guys to share your resources with me! Feel free to drop a comment!

Without further ado, my top five get-to-know-yous:

One Unique Thing:

 

Supplies:  Slips of paper and writing utensils

paper

Hand out a slip of paper and writing utensil to each guest.  Ask them to write one unique thing about themselves on the paper (something that most people don’t know.) Put the papers in a basket and draw three out periodically throughout the evening. Read the unique thing out loud and ask the group to try to guess whose paper it is.  Ask the person who wrote it to tell you more about the story in front of the group (if they are willing.)

Common Bonds:

Supplies:  None needed (except for a little patience and the ability to command the room: )

This game is a great way to get your group up and moving around and to move people into groups that they wouldn’t normally sort themselves in. It also gives an opportunity to share bits and pieces of our story with one another.

Just as a warning- this game requires a pretty big area of to work in and whoever is leading this exercise needs to be able to wrangle the group back to attention when it’s time to move on to the next group of questions.

Before starting this game, explain that you will be calling out a category and then division within each category.  Each person will go the category division that best fits her. Once everyone is in her division, you will read a question and everyone will take turns answering that question within her group. When they are finished, they should all raise their hands to let you know that they are ready to move.

You can choose your own categories, divisions and questions, but here are some examples:

Cat 1: Birth Order:  The divisions are oldest, middles, youngest and onlys (tell them where each group will meet)

Q: Describe the member of your family you are most like. Why?

Cat 2: How long have you lived here?  Divisions: whole life, half of my life, less than a quarter of my life, I’m new here

Q: What do you remember about the day you moved here?

Cat 3:  What do you like to do in your free time?  Division: read, time with friends, go shopping , watch tv

Q: What’s your favorite hobby?

Cat 4:  Vacation destination:  home, sunny beach, mountains, chocolate factory

Q: What’s your favorite vacation location?

This is a great activity for forming more of those simple connections that bond us together, and a great follow up activity to “Me, too.”  Ask a couple of the ladies to share things they have learned that they didn’t know before.

Pass the Beans:

Sharing our hidden talents...

Sharing our hidden talents…

Supplies: 15 dried beans for each participant

Everyone has a special talent  and unique experiences, but sometimes they are hidden, so no one else knows about them. The goal of this game is to reveal those gifts to the rest of the group.

Ask women to form groups of five, and then have each group sit in a circle. Give each person 15 beans. Explain that the girls are to try and collect beans by describing their unique experiences or abilities. For example, a woman might tell about running in a marathon, being able to recite all the books of the Bible, or her passion for painting with watercolors. Whatever activity they describe must be absolutely true.

After someone shares an activity, each lady who has never done that must give the person who shared one bean.  Have participants take turns listing their unique experiences and abilities until each person has shared 10 activities.
After everyone has shared at least 10 activities, ask women to report how many beans they’ve collected. Then ask for volunteers to share interesting activities they heard about and encourage those that have done that activity to share more about their stories.

The purpose of these next two games is to go deeper into our stories with one another.  These should definitely fall later in your program, after women have had some time to get to know each other a bit.

Deeper Questions:

Supplies:  Chairs and tables

Strings Attached Pictures 006 - Copy

This exercise is best done in groups of less than ten(5-8 is the perfect range) sitting in circles or at circle tables. Be sure to have tissues handy as this can sometimes get emotional.

Have the ladies sit in a circle (or around a table) and go around the group answering these questions one at time.  Allow about 2-3 min for each woman or more as time allows.  Don’t rush these, there are beautiful stories here.

1.  What is your happiest memory from your childhood?
2.  What is the one thing you will never compromise or can’t live without?
3.  What is your biggest fear?

The Hot Seat:

Supplies: Chairs

This is another activity that really encourages depth in sharing. This activity is best done in smaller groups of 5-8.

Sit in a circle around an empty chair. Ask for a volunteer to sit in the “Hot Seat.”  Ask them to tell about a time in the last week that she experienced the presence of God.  Then ask others to sit in the hot seat and share.  Make up your own questions or use some of these:

1.  Tell us about a time last week you roared with laughter?
2.  What was the topic of the last serious discussion you had with someone close to you?
3.  In what way did you come to the aid of someone last week?

You don’t necessarily have to come up with your own questions. Let the group come up with questions to answer.  Start with a few that are guided and then move to group suggestions.

My Top Five Picks: Improv Games as Icebreakers

I love icebreakers.  I love opportunities to get folks up, moving and interacting with each other, and I think you can learn amazing things about your group just by listening to the interactions as they are happening.

Never underestimate the power of laughter to disarm even the most shielded person.  By opening a group up to hilarious and goofy interactions with one another, you give them an opportunity to safely let their guard down without feeling too vulnerable.

My favorite way to create fun interactions is through Improvisational Comedy.  I would have to say improv games are my go-to resource for fun activities and icebreakers.  I’ve talked about ice-breakers before, but you asked for more…so here they are….My top five pics for Improv games:

Fun and Laughter pave the way for open conversations.

1.  Conjoined Twins

Supplies Needed: None

Set Up: Have your group divide up in pairs. Each pair has to come up with some way to be ‘conjoined’ (yes that means they have to touch one another.)  You’ll need someone not playing to interview each set of conjoined twins.

The rules for this game are simple.The players are conjoined twins who must speak simultaneously when giving answers to the questions from the audience. The players receive questions one at a time from the group and are then given the opportunity to spontaneously answer. Generally, the answers are only one or two words. Asking questions that require longer answers challenges the players. The players are forced to follow each other in determining what to say- they are speaking together as they listen.  The content of the answers is not important to the game but yield howls of laughter as the players try to come up with the answer and speak in unison.

I’m kind of starting with the most difficult on the list first, but this is my absolute favorite.  This game brings up so many things….like trust, listening, willingness to lead and to follow. It is a veritable minefield of learning lessons.  The drawback is that once you get a gaggle of gals giggling, it can be a bit difficult to control, but it’s a great trade off, especially for a smaller group of 10 or so.


2.  Circle Warm Up

Circle Warm Up– Warning: Uncontrollable laughter is possible!

Supplies needed: None

Circle Warm-Up is Comedy Improv game used to loosen a group of people up and get loads of laughs.  The group stands in a circle facing in.  First person steps forward and makes a gesture or sound and everyone in the group repeats it.  Play continues around the circle until everyone has gone.  GO FAST! Do whatever you think of first.  If someone gets stuck, and starts to fidget, that becomes their motion and the group repeats it.  This is a great way to begin talking about how much easier it is to open up and be silly when you trust everyone is going to as well- this helps build the trust that others will open up and be vulnerable later.

3. One Word Story

One Word Story- Learning to accept and build

Supplies needed: None

One-Word Story is an Improv game used as a warm up in Comedy Improv groups.  Divide your group into groups of 8-10.  Once you are in your groups, ask for a suggestion of a fairy tale story to tell as a group.  Then instruct the groups that they will have 2 minutes to begin to tell the story one. Word. At. A. time. The key is to go fast and to add onto the word the person in front of you said.

Tip: Inevitably, you will end up with a yellow submarine in Cinderella or ruby slippers in Snow White.  This game gets hilarious. Stop the game after two minutes and ask, “Do you guys actually remember the story?”  Ask for some of the really ridiculous suggestions.

This game highlights the point that even though we may have a really clear direction and idea of where things should be headed, we only have control of ourselves and our contribution to the team.  The idea is to learn to take what your teammate gives you, view it as a gift no matter how much it diverges from your plan, and build on it.

Recently I played this game with a group of young women 18-25.  As we were going around the circle there seemed to be this wrestling to control the “power” words of the story- you know the big ones- nouns, verbs, seemingly ridiculous adjectives like Irish, and frankly, the story got lost.  This game the opportunity to talk about the fact that often times the most valuable word in a story is a single letter, like ‘a’ or a short word like ‘the,’ and tat while those words seem insignificant to us when we look at them by themselves, the story can’t go on without them. It was a beautiful moment that spoke to the importance and purpose of each and everyone one of us.

4.  Whoosh

Supplies needed: None

Whoosh is a warm-up improv game that is played in a circle.  The basic level of it is whoosh is passed around the circle like an energy, it travels from person to person in one direction around the circle. Then you can add levels like “BOINK” which stops the whoosh and rebounds it to travel in the opposite direction. You can add “OVERPASS” which makes the whoosh jump over the person next to you and land on the next person. And at this point you can add many fun hilarious levels to the game which gives players handfuls of choices to make, respond to and be confused by. We play ninja,  monorail, scooter, galactica, hyperspace and subway just to name a few…and I am fairly certain that most of these I made up on the spur of the moment…so have fun with these!

This is a great exercise to watch who engages and who doesn’t and to learn who has a tendency to overpower things as well. This one game can tell you a whole lot about the personalities in your group and how well they work together.

5.  Flock Dance

Supplies: None

This is a very physical, very silly and wildly fun game! Stress the silliness of it and that there must be commitment on everyone’s part in order for this to be fun.

Have your group arrange themselves in a “flying V” with one person at the front of the ‘V’ and the others staggered behind them, like a flock of birds. The player at the front begins leading a dance (either to a stereo or to music that they hum or sing themselves). The other players follow the leader, duplicating their movements as closely as possible. After 15-20 seconds (or when the song changes, if you’ve got a stereo and a “DJ”), a new leader moves into the front until each player has had a chance to try leading.

The idea behind this game is to get full commitment.  This is an especially useful game if your subject material for the rest of your event is very deep and will require lots of vulnerability.  This also helps players be aware of leadership and take the initiative, to follow, and to let go of habitual patterns of movement and really WATCH someone else closely.

Flock dance is about finding a balance between leaders and followers, so in as much as followers should be aware of the leader, so should the leader be aware of his/her followers and ensure that they are supported.

Safety is also a concern, as the flock will be watching the head bird.

Woah! This is a long post, but there you go…my top five improv games.  There are so many more that I love…you know what, that I would love to share with you- so if you are interested in more or in chatting about how you can make your next event super awesome- shoot me a line at stringsattachedministries@gmail.com, I’d love to help!

Have fun!

My Top Five Picks: Mixers and Icebreakers

If you have been to a workshop or seminar I’ve conducted in the last three or so years, it is likely that you have experienced one or more of these games.  They are my favorites and so easy to draw lessons out of. One of the wonderful things about icebreakers and mixers is that you can learn so much about your audience by listening in on the conversations that are taking place around you.

Listen for the lessons the audience receives, even if they aren't what you originally planned.

The most important key about any object lesson though is to be prepared to learn as much from your audience as they do from you. Go in with a clear picture of the lesson you want them to walk away from the exercise with, but also be open to hearing something different.  Often, we will get so wrapped up in the message we think we are there to deliver that we resist when the Holy Spirit leads us down a different path.  This is even more true with games and exercises.  Be willing to explore what is going on with your audience at the expense of your own agenda.  The most powerful of lessons are those that are personal and real for someone at that moment. Trust that God placed you in the role of facilitator for a reason and release the control of the message to Him.

Ok…on to the fun stuff!

Fun and Laughter pave the way for open conversations.

I’ve already given you my very favorite icebreaker: Me, Too

Me, Too

But Mixers two, three and four come from the world of improvisational comedy or improv (think “Whose Line is it Anyway?”).  I believe that fun and laughter are the easiest paths to begin to let down our masks and allow others to see us as we truly are.  It’s easier to be uncomfortable together. These games push us to be silly together.

Circle Warm Up

Circle Warm Up-- Warning: Uncontrollable laughter is possible!

Supplies needed: None

Circle Warm-Up is Comedy Improv game used to loosen a group of people up and get loads of laughs.  The group stands in a circle facing in.  First person steps forward and makes a gesture or sound and everyone in the group repeats it.  Play continues around the circle until everyone has gone.  GO FAST! Do whatever you think of first.  If someone gets stuck, and starts to fidget, that becomes their motion and the group repeats it.

One-Word Story

One Word Story- Learning to accept and build

Supplies needed: None

One-Word Story is an Improv game used as a warm up in Comedy Improv groups.  Divide your group into groups of 8-10.  Once you are in your groups, ask for a suggestion of a fairy tale story to tell as a group.  Then instruct the groups that they will have 2 minutes to begin to tell the story one. Word. At. A. time. The key is to go fast and to add onto the word the person in front of you said.

Tip: Inevitably, you will end up with a yellow submarine in Cinderella or ruby slippers in Snow White.  This game gets hilarious. Stop the game after two minutes and ask, “Do you guys actually remember the story?”  Ask for some of the really ridiculous suggestions.

This game highlights the point that even though we may have a really clear direction and idea of where things should be headed, we only have control of ourselves and our contribution to the team.  The idea is to learn to take what your teammate gives you, view it as a gift no matter how much it diverges from your plan, and build on it.

Hitchhiker

Hithiker: Attitude is contagious

Supplies needed: 4 chairs

This game is best done in a smallish group (10-15) as it takes a while.  The story is there are three people in a car and one hitchhiker. They pull over to pick up the hitchhiker and she gets into the back seat behind the driver. But the hitchhiker has a strange tick. As the driver is driving, the rest of the car slowly picks up the tick (preferably without the front seat watching the back seat) until the driver has the tick and finds an excuse to pull over and get out.  The players then rotate one seat and play begins again with a new hitchhiker and a new tick. The players keep the last tick, until it is replaced by a new one.

This particular game flows beautifully from One Word Story which teaches us that in this life we can’t choose what we are handed.  We can’t change other people’s thoughts, feelings or behaviors.  The one and only thing that we have any control over is ourselves. We can control our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and how we perceive a situation and what we choose to do with the information that we are presented.  We can choose to reflect a positive, Godly attitude, or we can choose to become a bitter root that can infect an entire group, or ministry, or even church.  In Hebrews 12: 15 says: “ See to it that no one misses the grace of God an that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

On the other hand, Hitchhiker teaches us how easy bad (and good) attitudes can spread among a group.

Pass the Beans

Sharing our hidden talents...

Supplies: 15 dried beans for each participant

Everyone has a special talent  and unique experiences, but sometimes they are hidden, so no one else knows about them. The goal of this game is to reveal those gifts to the rest of the group.

Ask women to form groups of five, and then have each group sit in a circle. Give each person 15 persons. Explain that the girls are to try and collect beans by describing their unique experiences or abilities. For example, a woman might tell about running in a marathon, being able to recite all the books of the Bible, or her passion for painting with watercolors. Whatever activity they describe must be absolutely true.

After someone shares an activity, each lady who has never done that must give the person who shared one bean.  Have participants take turns listing their unique experiences and abilities until each person has shared 10 activities.

After everyone has shared at least 10 activities, ask women to report how many beans they’ve collected. Then ask for volunteers to share interesting activities they heard about and encourage those that have done that activity to share more.

I hope that these are helpful to you! Please feel free to leave comments or ask questions about these or any other suggestions you see here!