Haunting Ache

“The ways we find to numb our aches, our longings, and our pain are not benign. They are malignant. They entangle themselves in our souls like a cancer and, once attached, become addictions that are both cruel and relentless. Though we seek them out for a little relief from the sorrows of life, addictions turn on us and imprison us in chains that separate us from the heart of God and others as well. It is a lonely prison of our own making. Each chain forged in the fire of  our own indulgent choice. Yet, “Our lovers have so intertwined themselves our identity that to give them up feels like personal death… We wonder if it is possible to live without them.” (the Sacred Romance.) Yes, we are, each of us, to greater and lesser degress still in bondage. But the good news is that “God has not  deserted us in our bondage.” (Ezra 9:9)

We need not be ashamed that our hearts ache; that we need and thirst for much more. All of our hearts ache. All of our hearts are at some level unsatisfied and longing. It is our insatiable need for more that drives us to our God. What we need to see is that all our controlling and our hiding, all our indulging actually serves to separate us from our hearts. We lose touch with those longings that make us women. And the substitutes never, ever resolve the deeper issue of our souls.”– Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge

To understand addiction of any kind, we must accept that all of us have vices….”other lovers” we turn to; to hide, to indulge, to control our lives; “other lovers” who are not God. This realization can helps us return to the heart of God….this ache, this longing is designed to drive us exactly there….to God–the only one who can fill the void.