The Sound of Silence: Harmony Creates Tension

I am sharing a few of my journal entries from a three day silent directed retreat held by Christview Ministries at Little Portion Retreat Center in Eureka Springs, Arkansas April 13-15, 2012.  

Evening Prayers, called Compline, are the only time we meet as a group. Our directors call it group worship and my heart yearns for music, but I’m learning to worship without a song and that’s not a bad thing.

We prayed antiphonally and it was beautiful harmony- the voices of these women- raspy from non-use- speaking the 91st Psalm together.

I was unsettled for a moment as the women’s voices speaking in unison came very near the sound of a Wiccan chanting circle.

This is a new sensation for me, this mirroring of my past life. But more and more, I find myself caught off guard by a similarity. Things I have done for years now in my Christian walk will now remind me of rituals or circumstances from my old occult ways.  I find it startling- and I wonder if God has kept this revelation from me until now when I have the maturity and spiritual support to handle it.

So now I find myself back in my room.  Listening to a storm blow strong across the mountain and spilling these words onto paper. My jaw holds this tension like a clamp. My head aches with the force of it and I’m no sure how to relieve the pressure there. I suppose that means that maybe the fear has subsided, but the anxiety still remains, and I am not sure what to do with that, but I know God does so I just sit with it for a while longer and pray that tomorrow will be more comfortable and I just know that it will far exceed my expectations.

 

3 thoughts on “The Sound of Silence: Harmony Creates Tension

  1. Greetings from California! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your website on my iphone during lunch break. I love the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, amazing blog!

  2. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found
    a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and
    screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to
    tell someone!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s