Do I believe this?
If my actions speak to my beliefs and I look hard at how I act, do my actions say I believe that He will meet my every need?
I’ve worked hard today. I’ve been productive. I’ve called calls and written blogs. I’ve worked up budgets and hobbed and knobbed with potential ministry partners. I’ve knocked things off my to do list that I’ve been “meaning to” get to for weeks.
It’s not finished. Not done. The cute little boxes are not all checked off.
There are clean clothes on the bed unfolded and dishes in the sink unwashed and chapters God asked me to write unwritten.
There are hugs unhugged and kisses unkissed, prayers unprayed and love unsaid.
I NEED more time. More energy. More motivation. More hands.
And if I truly believe that God has promised every need will be met, why do I feel so desperately overwhelmed by it all when I look around?
As I work today on the budget for a women’s conference we are hosting next fall, I laughed at the numbers. I feel like I’m playing with monopoly money as I look at a budget that BEGINS thousands of dollars from reality is daunting. And the question that rattles around is do I really believe God will provide?
That’s the promise.
Today I have to settle for claiming this promise- because today, well, frankly, belief is coming so readily. God and I have spent a lot of time chatting about this today and He’s made other promises of need fulfilled.
“Lord, help my unbelief.”
Another need. One he’ll meet. Like all the others.