“When I lose my way, and I forget my name, remind me who I am.”
Twelve years ago I fell and hit my head. Hard.
I wish I could tell you I was doing something really cool at the time, but I wasn’t. I was just getting ready for work (I was in the army at the time), and I passed out and hit my head….on the toilet. I know, glamorous, right?
I woke up completely blank. Like someone had taken a Magic Eraser to my brain. Full blown amnesia.
It. Was. Terrifying.
I knew nothing. Not my name, not where I was, what I was doing there. Nothing. I was paralyzed with fear. Climbed onto a couch that I didn’t recognize, with a blanket I had never seen before, curled up into a ball and began to cry.
My Battery Commander called my husband (who traveled out of state for work at the time) because I had not shown up for work and was several hours late.
As soon as I picked up the phone, he knew something was very wrong. My commander sent my platoon sergeant and my motor sergeant to pick me up. I did not know them. I followed them out of fear and sheer obedience to the man on the other end of the phone who seemed to know me.
I was in a military hospital for three weeks with close to full blown amnesia. It was one of the most frightening times of my life. A time made bearable only by the constant presence of my faithful husband…he stayed day and night. He talked slow and introduced people….people like my commander, my best friend, my sister…people like my mom.
And every four hours, when a nurse’s assistant would poke her head around the curtain and ask, “Lieutenant Kaufman?” I would look at my dear, dear Charlie and he would nod.
He would remind me who I am.
Six times a day (sometimes more) for 18 days–such an intense act of love–he would remind me who I am. Dear God, I love that man.
(There is so much more to this story, but the rest of the tale is for another day.)
I went to Advanced Captivating last month with just a little touch of spiritual amnesia. Do you get this? Do you ever forget, in the hustle and bustle of life who you are in Christ? That you are Co-heir to the Kingdom of God? Knight and Warrior Princess?
That you are
I traveled to the heart of the Rocky Mountains…to the wonder of creation….and there, through the ministry of Ransomed Heart, through the beautiful, captivating women who traveled there seeking refreshment as well, through the ministering of the Holy Spirit, God took me by the heart reminded me who I am–such an intense act of love–to remind me who I am.
“If I’m your beloved, can you help me believe it?”
Another song from the retreat…this song obviously resonated with me. You, too?