I receive a daily feed from The Henri Nouwen Society (he’s one of my favorite authors) and love the way he makes me step back and view the world from a perspective I other than my own. Today’s post struck me as aptly timed in light of all the cries of injustice coming out of the Casey Anthony trial and the state of relationships as a whole these days.
I hear so often the words “forgive and forget.” I love what Henri says in this passage.
“That is not realing healing; it is simply ignoring reality.”
Healing takes more work than memory loss. Forgiveness is not about forgetting, it’s about rebuilding.
“Time heals,” people often say. This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened. That is not really healing; it is simply ignoring reality. But when the expression “time heals” means that faithfulness in a difficult relationship can lead us to a deeper understanding of the ways we have hurt each other, then there is much truth in it. “Time heals” implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.
What do you think? Can you forgive AND forget?
Check out another great post on forgiveness here at Folks, Listen!
Do you have one? Share your link in the comments! I’d love to read them!